frère sanglant
by Totto-chan
Summary: I'm not who you think I am. Stopitstopitstopit. Don't look at me like that. I didn't kill you. Fai!fic !SPOILERS! for vol. 19 & 20
1. first bloodpremier sang

**SPOILERS for volumes 19 and twenty** in case you didn't see in the summary. I don't want any unhappy people who haven't read this far.

The first of three. This is, in fact, about Yuui (who we've known for the entire series as Fai), and his twin, the 'real' Fai. So, for that sake, I am going to refer to Fai as Yuui.

....Why does it seem the only things I ever seem to be able to write for TRC is angst? Gah, it's all CLAMP's fault.

**Disclaimer: Tsubasa Chronicle belongs to CLAMP.**

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**.o1. premier sang**

**First, break the skin**

It was a sunny, sunny day--so hot, the snow outside was actually starting to _melt_, so hot that Yuui and Fai only had to wear one coat, instead of two, and three, and four.

The twins thought it was magical. Everyday, snow practically flung itself from the sky, or drifted sleepily down, but today was special--so, _so_ special--and they wanted nothing more than to run around in the main garden of the castle.

"Let's go, let's go~" Fai cooed quietly, gently taking Yuui's hand. "Hurry, or we'll get caught."

"I'm coming!" Yuui whined, worming his way out of Fai's grasp to finish buttoning up his coat. "She'll be mad at us if we aren't dressed properly--"

"She'll be mad at us no matter what," The older twin interjected, sounding as bitter as a six year old could. "We're supposed to be studying now, and she doesn't like us to go outside in the first place..."

"Finished!" Yuui waved his little hands, once again gaining Fai's full attention.

Grinning--the smile that never failed to cheer Yuui up, the smile that seemed every present on his loving brother's face--, Fai once again snatched up Yuui's hand, and the two snuck out for a rare visit to the outside world.

It was _so bright_ outside---brighter than any of the candles or oil lamps or magic lights inside---and the sunlight glistened off the wet snow and ice, making them shine like diamonds.

The two boys laughed and chased each other, hiding behind half-frozen rose bushes and trees.

Yuui leaned back against a garden wall, breathless and smiling. He could hear Fai calling for him---"_Come out, come out, wherever you areeee!_"---but he was determined to win this round of the game.

He tensed as he heard the crunching of footsteps to his right. Crouching, he expected Fai to come barreling down the pathway---only to frown in surprise when two female servants showed up in his brother's place, whispering to each other.

Knowing he'd be punished if caught out there, Yuui scooted further behind a bush, and listened to the girls' conversation.

"---This weather is absolutely dreadful," the first complained, arms crossed tight across her chest.

"Isn't it? If it gets any hotter---" The second cut herself off, smoothing her hair nervously.

"Don't even suggest it!"

"Did you hear about the head magician?"

"He's fallen terribly ill, I know..." the servant pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing. "Of course, you know who's fault that is. Those goddamn twins!"

"All they've brought since the day they were born is misfortune! They're cursed!"

"I can't believe their mother didn't just kill---"

"Susugi! Sasaki! Stop gossiping and get back to work!"

"Ah, we're sorry!"

"We're coming..."

Yuui slowly let out the nervous breath he'd been holding as the girls trudged grudgingly away.

_Those goddamn twins_---twins, twins, Yuui didn't know a lot about the outside world, but there was only _one_ pair of twins in his kingdom, and---and---

"I found you!"

Yuui jumped about a foot in the air as Fai's gloved hand touched his shoulder. He whipped around to look at his brother, fist held tightly to his chest.

"Yuui?" Fai tilted his head, a look of concern gracing his features. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-um-yeah, I am, I mean..." Yuui stood, and glanced worriedly over his shoulder. "I just--I feel a little sick, can we go back inside?"

"What? You do?" Fai's eyes widened, and Yuui felt a pang of guilt at having lied to his brother. "I guess I feel a bit ill too...maybe it's too hot out?"

"Yeah, that must be it."

Fai smiled again, and tugged on his younger twin's sleeve. "Let's go back, then."

"Y-yeah."

And as the two made their silent way back to the library, Yuui, urgently, desperately, whispered three words to himself;

_---WE'RE NOT CURSED, we're not cursed, __**WE'RE NOT CURSED**__.---_


	2. second blooddeuxième sang

I don't really know anything about Fai and Yuui's mother. They don't ever say anything, do they?

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**.o2. ****deuxième sang**

**Now, let's make it bleed**

_Oh, God_---it hurt, it hurt, the whispers hurt, it was better when they couldn't hear, didn't any one have any common courtesy? Didn't they deserve at least some common courtesy?

_You're cursed, you're evil, why won't you leave __**our **__(_not yours_) kingdom, why are you punishing us, don't you see what you're doing, __**why don't you just die**__. _

No one but the other wanted them, and Yuui would cling to his brother and cry (until, one day, he finally ran out of tears), and Fai would shield him, take the insults and snide remarks (and he would cry inside, with no one to comfort _him_).

Not even their own _mother _wanted to see them, speak to them---_touch them, hold them, tell them she loved them_ (and even as they accepted she _nevernevernever _would, they still longed to hear that lie)--she even forced them to call her 'My Lady,' or 'Your Majesty' in front of any one else.

Yet, Yuui couldn't sto himself---everyday, even as his brother slept, the boy would sneak to his mother's bedroom, watch her work, sing, read, _cry_, all from the crack in her door.

And, one day, he really couldn't hold back.

He opened the door---_didn't even bother to knock, and was almost surprised when the woman didn't surge off the bed and try to smack him across the face for such an act (_after all, she had done so for even less offense actions of his_)_---and looked to see his mother, the queen, lying limply on her bed.

Crossing the room, softly, almost silently, a strange smell attacked Yuui's nose---it was tangy, and salty, _what is it? Was she drinking?_

And then, standing a few feet from the lush bed, he saw it--

_Redredred, staining the sheets, the pillow case, the curtain, her hands, her hair; so beautiful, white and smooth as corn silk, skin like milk, that was now slowlyslowlyslowly curdling. _

"Your Majesty?" He called, a numb sensation spreading through his body, from his toes to the tips of his fingers--_because this couldn't possibly, couldn't possibly..._

"Y...your Majesty..." Yuui kneeled, dropped to the floor, and swung his arm almost wildly, grasping the arm until his found his mother's long, slender hand--_as cold as it ever was_--now limp and lifeless.

"Please, speak to me..." He whispered, gripping so tightly his knuckles turned white. "I know you hate me...I know you hate me...but please..."

She didn't answer; he didn't expect her to, but at the same time, he wanted her to wake up, to sit up, to yell at him, smack him across the face, place a hand on his head if she was feeling sympathetic--_something, something---_

_---JUST TELL ME YOU'RE ALIVE---_

Sobbing reached Yuui's ears, and it took him a moment to realise it was him, crying, "Mother...mother...mother..."

He held her hand to his cheek, kissed it, hugged it, and thought angrily, sadly, and with sudden clarity--

---_Oh, God, __**you're going to blame us for this, too, aren't you?**_


	3. third bloodtroisième sang

Last one; I hope you enjoyed (smiles).

This takes place toward the end of volume 20, where Fai (Yuui) comes face to face with Ashura and his brother.

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**.o3. ****troisième sang**

**How nice; I want to paint again with that beautiful crimson, so reopen those deep wounds**

Nononono_---Ican'tIcan'tIcan't_---I can't see you, I can't see you, don't you understand, Yuui (_no, not Yuui anymore, __**my name is Fai**_) cries to himself, cries to the near-skeletal figure in front of him. I can't see you.

"We've been waiting for so long..."

The words don't register, just that _gaze_---_that gaze, that gaze that says, "__**I**__**loved you, you abandoned me, how could you, I loved you, you were my brother, no one else loved you, howcouldyouhowcouldyou.**__"_

"_N-no_..." Don't make me go through this again---_but that smell is already there, that_ _**tanglysaltyred**_ _smell, like some twisted perfume_---_they _don't need to see this, I just need my friend back, my princess, let me have her, goawaygoawaygoaway.

"**YOU...YOU...MURDER...**"

No, no, I didn't murder you! Yuui murdered you!

YOU.

No not me! I'm not Yuui! YOU'RE...

---_I'M NOT, HE'S DEAD, HE DIED WITH YOU, I JUST REMEMBER, I CAN'T BE YUUI, DON'T MAKE ME BE---_

Look, look, **look at me. My name is Fai**---

---_YUUI KILLED HIMSELF, I AM SOMEONE NEW_---

---**And, I swear to God,**

YOUYOUYOUYOU.

**I don't know you. **


End file.
